Amy in Addiction Land.
A few minutes ago I read tweet stating that singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse died. Other tweets implied that it might be due to a drug and/or alcohol overdose as that’s the way Miss Winehouse lived her life.
I’m no fan of Winehouse. I couldn’t tell you the name of one of her well-known songs. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard one of her songs. Indifference with a wee bit of sadness kicked in. Over the next few minutes tweets breezed through my timeline ranging from the sarcastic, the sardonic, and the cryptic—all the while a cauldron of feelings began to stir within me.
Then this tweet from actress Marlee Matlin popped up.
Her tweet resonated with me. My cauldron of emotion came to an immediate rolling boil and it all made sense. I’ve had a lot of experience with addictions. I’ve been spared the horrors of having an addiction, but I’ve seen what addictions can do to people.
I’ve had a number of close friends and acquaintances who gleefully walked climbed up the seductively beautiful and flowered side of that hill only to find themselves plummeting down the well-oiled bluff on other side. I have a friend now I suspect is on her way into the gully of addiction.
I’ve seen people lose it all. For some the process was overnight. And for others it was a slow leaching of their lives. In each and every one of those instances the process was painful for them to endure. And painful to watch.
Every once in a while they were strong enough to make it to recovery. But in some instances, like that of my own father whose addiction was alcohol, life with the numbness of substance abuse was more attractive than life without it. So when I hear stories of people who’ve been able to make it to recovery/sobriety, I give them a pat on the back as I know it was no small feat.
So for those who are unable or unwilling to seek help, my heart goes out to you.
To those whose lives have not been touched by addiction and see the matter as one whose remedy is as simple as tying your shoes, a modicum of compassion and a walk in the addict’s shoes would serve you well. Heaven help you should you find yourself in the Land of Addiction.
And to those who’ve made it to sobriety island, like Ms. Matlin, well done. And keep up the good work.
All life is sacred. Even if the one who ends their own doesn’t think so.
Thank you, Clay. I feel that it’s so important to speak up about addiction. I think many people have addicts in their lives, and just don’t talk about it, out of loyalty to the addict and because you get so exhausted by how much of your life that gets taken over by it that you don’t want to give any more. The addiction of loved ones takes away your freedom to show that person your love, sometimes, as when it finally dawns on you that you have to keep your distance out of self-preservation.
Sarah, you bring up a couple of very good points. Having an addict in your life can be … well, to put it mildly … an emotionally draining experience. It’s important that those who are affected have someone with whom they can talk over the situation and practice safe boundaries with the addicted love for their own piece of mind. The loved one’s inability to accept the love of family members in no way means that the family members don’t love them.
(Keep in mind, I’m no Dr. Phil or Dr. Drew. I’m speaking from my own experience.)
Thanks for commenting.
Lovely, Clay. Your skill for putting emotional turmoil into prose is amazing. So pleased to know you and love you as I do.
Joel, “emotional turmoil.” Hm, I never thought of it that way. Maybe that’s my niche—haha! Thanks for you support and I’m equally as pleased to know and love you as I do. (Thirty years goes by so fast. Good thing we met when we were three year old or we’d be old men. Bwah-hah-hah!)